


this is me trying

by buggiesreign



Category: Riverdale (TV 2017)
Genre: Angst, Post-Time Skip, Regret, Will They Won’t They
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-16
Updated: 2020-12-16
Packaged: 2021-03-10 21:35:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28113966
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/buggiesreign/pseuds/buggiesreign
Summary: Jughead and Betty are investigating Riverdales current mystery and in the midst of that find their way back to one another for one night. But everything changes when they wake up the next day...
Relationships: Betty Cooper & Jughead Jones, Betty Cooper/Jughead Jones
Comments: 5
Kudos: 35





	this is me trying

This was not supposed to go this way.

That was Jugheads first thought when he woke up to the sun rising on this specific Thursday morning. His second thought was that having her in his arms felt comfortingly familiar. He wouldnt admit that, if asked, however. He couldn’t even fully admit it to himself.

He carefully tried to move his arm out from underneath her, not wanting to wake her - mostly for his own sake. He didn’t want to address what happened to them last night just yet, not before he didn’t have time to think everything through himself. How could he have let something so stupid happen, after staying strong for weeks?

It was no secret that he struggled with staying professional and completely unfazed - at least outwardly - however, he had managed to do so, showing strength everytime they worked together. If he could do as he wished, he would just grab her, kiss her and never let go again, especially when she looked at him with those beautiful green eyes and a proud smile on her lips at figuring something out in their case.

But everytime he was close to giving in, he remembered why that wasn’t possible anymore. He remembered why they had separated all those years ago and why their relationship now was just a professional one.

If only he could forget the familiar scent of her, the feel of her, the taste of her.

But life was cruel. None of those things had ever left his mind, they were burned into his memory like a reminder of everything he could’ve had for the rest of his life, if it hadn’t been for that one stupid mistake. And sure, he could just try to forgive her and move past it, to be with her again, but he could never forget. He could never stop picturing Betty leaving him alone after their fight to make out with his - and her - best friend.

He had agreed to work on this case with her, slightly surprised when he had asked for his help, but agreeing nonetheless. Throughout the seven years they had spent apart he had continued researching various cases, however old, closed cases, that in most cases had to do with research for his novels. He was positively surprised when he found out that he still was capable of researching cases, that were active.

The previous night they had sat on the bed of his small motel room, papers spread out everywhere, trying to find something - anything - to link to the missing girls they were desperately trying to find. Betty looked as exhausted as Jughead felt and he didn’t even dare look in the mirror. But only a second after he thought about his exhaustion, Betty clapped her hands and his eyes widened at the sound.

“I’ve got something!” she exclaimed proudly, that familiar smile spreading on her face, as she began explaining what she had found in that moment. Jughead listened intently as realization hit him - they had hit a major break through in their case.

And that was the moment he gave in - he couldn’t hold back anymore.

One thing led to another and they kissed, neither of them sure who initiated it first but neither of them caring either. The papers were forgotten for the time being and they got lost in one another instead, a comforting feeling settling throughout his entire body.

And now here he was, a naked Betty Cooper wrapped in his arms, a slight feeling of regret and no way to get out. To put it into simple terms, he was fucked. Really fucked. When he tried to move his arm, she had made a small noise of protest and he stopped his movements immediately and sighed as quietly as possible, knowing there was no escaping the awkward conversation that was about to follow.

And it didn’t take long until Betty opened her eyes, blinking against the sunlight, before they settled on his and a bright smile covered her face. He immediately felt bad, but the feeling of regret only grew when he realized he had to tell her that this was a mistake. He had to separate himself from Betty once again - and no matter how many years may have passed, that won’t get any easier.

“Good morning,” she said, her voice soft still thick with sleep, as she slowly rolled onto her back, making it possible for him to free his hand, trying to ignore the frown that settled on her features at the action. “So..” she whispered, knowing they had to start a conversation somehow, but seemingly just as uncomfortable now and at a loss for words as he was.

There weren’t many situations in his life where he found himself at a loss for words. If he was asked to point them all out, he maybe would’ve gotten to five in total - and no doubt, all involved Betty Cooper. He cleared his throat, sitting up slowly and nodding his head, unsure of what to say next and hoping she would say something else.

“Last night was ... interesting,” she added after a moment of awkward silence and Jughead nodded his head once again, still organizing his thoughts and trying to figure out a way to let her down gently, but clearly.

“It sure was. Your break through was brilliant,” he said, a forced smile covering his face, but inwardly he slapped himself. Why was he speaking about their break through, when in this very moment there was a much bigger elephant in the room? He sighed softly, shaking his head, as Bettys expression changed into something unreadable.

“Not exactly what I was referring to, but yeah, that did feel great, too.”

Too? Was she saying their night was great? And once again he mentally slapped himself for even letting his thoughts drift off to that. He needed to address this and just tell her what he was thinking and feeling. If only it wasn’t that terrifying. “Uhm, we should probably talk about this.. us.”

Betty looked like she was holding back a laugh and he wiped his hand over his face, before pushing his hair back and out of his face, which seemed to have caught Bettys attention, as she bit her lower lip gently, eyeing him. Her gaze drifted up and down his body and he suddenly was very aware of their nudity, getting up and putting his boxers on quickly.

“We need to talk about this. I need to say a few things,” he said, before clearing his throat clearly getting ready for some sort of speech and Bettys face fell a little, seemingly understanding that this won’t have the positive outcome she might have assumed it would have. She reached to the end of the bed, grabbing her shirt and pulling it over her head, as well as putting her panties back on, before lifting his head to look at him and giving him a nod, signaling him to start.

“Okay so, last night we both were exhausted and at the same time really excited about the break through we had had and it clearly got to us, so we ... did something we shouldn’t have done.”

That was it? That was all he managed to say? Fucking hell, he expected better from himself and by the looks of it so did Betty, as a confused expression took over her face. “I’m sorry, what?”

“Last night was a mistake, Betty. We should’ve never done that. We’ve been stuck here for weeks, trying to figure this out and maybe some sort of familiarity and comfort settled in between the two of us and it just took over. But it shouldn’t have. This was stupid. So stupid.”

“So basically what you’re saying is you just needed a good lay to feel comfort and ... I was there?” she asked and Jugheads eyes widened as he shook his head. This was not what he was trying to say at all, not even close. ”No, no. That’s not what I meant, I was just saying that we know each other well and that brings a level of comfort. I didn’t mean to say that is why we ...” he said, drifting off at the end.”

“Comforting and familiar? Jughead, we have not seen each other in seven years and the past few weeks you barely looked at me, only talking to me when we had to work on our case. I thought last night meant ... It could've been the first step to reconciling,” she said, her expression once again unreadable, but he knew his was obvious. While his features showed sympathy a few moments ago, now they were taken over by anger.

“And whose fault is it that we haven’t seen each other in years? Whose fault is it that we lost what we once had? Reconciliation? Whose fault is it that we even need reconciliation? What did you expect? We spend one night together and everything is just fine again?” he asked, talking fast and his voice slightly raised.

Betty got up, shaking her head and walking around the bed, but halting when she noticed Jughead taking a step back. So she stood at an awkward distance, both on the same side of the bed now. Jughead felt a sting in his chest, but he ignored it, the anger he was feeling stronger than all the other feelings. “I didn’t mean to imply that everything would just be fine, but it’s been seven years, Jug. Don’t you think maybe it’s time to move past our issues?”

At that he could only scoff and the small flare up of guilt inside him disappeared. He narrowed his eyes at her, taking her in. Her posture was guarded, while her face was vulnerable and while her voice was soft, the words coming out cut him like a knife.

“Move past it?” he asked, another scoff following. “Just move past it? How do you expect me to just ignore that you made out with my best friend and then continued to see him behind my back to figure out if you still had feelings for him? How am I supposed to just move past that?! You knew how I felt about him. You knew that it took me a while to believe that you actually wanted me. I started trusting the idea of us actually working out in the long run. Only for you to make all my fears a reality. And now you’re telling me to just move past it.”

“I- I’m sorry,” she whispered, her voice defeated now, more vulnerable and broken and he had to swallow the lump of guilt rising in his throat once again. “That’s ... That’s not what I was trying to say. But don’t you think we’re stronger than all of this? Don’t you think we can make it work? Jug, I know you still have love for me.”

Jughead nodded, putting on his jeans and pulling his shirt over his head. He couldn’t let himself be vulnerable with her again, he wouldn’t survive another heartbreak. He calmly put his phone, keys and some cash into the pocket of his jeans before turning back to Betty. 

“Once upon a time, I believed we were stronger than anything. I believed it was you and me against all the bullshit the world would throw our way. And honestly, can you blame me? Look at everything we’ve been through. The one thing that was always a constant in my life, was you. No matter how crazy things got, I knew I could count on you to be there, right by my side, to experience it all with me.”

“But somewhere along the way, you must’ve felt differently, because instead of confiding in me and talking to me about your fears and worries, you went to Archie. And I’m not mad that you spoke to him, he’s your best friend. If it would’ve just been that, we would be okay. But it wasn’t. You clung to the idea of this perfect relationship that you had always imagined with him. In that moment, you wanted that.”

“While I was alone and worried about our relationship and the fight we had, you found comfort in someone else arms and lips. And it didn’t even end there. You just had to meet him over and over, because you weren’t sure. I don’t even know what you weren’t sure of. And frankly I don’t care anymore. I spent night after night crying about this. I cried until I was just numb.”

“I won’t even say all that is your fault, maybe I should’ve just not put all my trust in you. Maybe I am to blame in some capacity. I can accept that. What I can’t do, however, is simply move past it. I don’t have it in me. I think you should find someone else to work on this case with.”

When he was done speaking, Bettys cheeks were stained with tears, that just kept on flowing and her expression looked broken - she looked broken. And he wanted to hug her. He wanted to hug her so badly. But he didn’t. “And to confirm your assumption. Yes, I do still love you ... and I hate myself for it.” 

And with that he was gone. He left the motel room, not knowing where to go and a single tear rolled down his cheek, knowing he had just ruined his chance at reconciliation with the love of his life. But he had to. He had to get it all off his chest.

As it started to rain Jughead scoffed loudly. “What a cliche?” he muttered, as he walked down the streets of Riverdale and it hit him - what once felt so familiar and comforting, now just felt cold.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, I don’t know when exactly I will post part two, but it’s coming and it’ll be from Bettys pov :)


End file.
